Day 4- Your Closest Relative

Again, Dear Mom,
    Again, thanks for being there for me and for being totally insane and just an amazing parent all together, considering you raised me by yourself and that I can be such a handful. I really love you.

Love,

Ellie

The grand evil

Braces happen to be the most evil non living things on the face of the Earth. And by relation, so are spacers, rubber bands, dental chairs, orthodontists, and straight-ness.
I just got my braces tightened and they're tighter than the genitals of a female member of the clergy, as Kathleen says our friendship is. Invisalign ftw >.<
Curse me and my naturally horribly disfigured teeth

Day 3- Your Parents

Dear Mom,
    You let me fall out of your vagina 15 years, two months and seventeen days ago and since then you've given up your life and anything you want to do for yourself to make sure I have everything I need, and that's all I could ever ask for.
    Thank you for loving me unconditionally, even when I screw up, and even though we bash heads a lot, I love you so much, and I never tell you enough or show appreciation for all the things you do for me. I'll never be able to thank you enough for raising me and never letting me veer off track of my life. I love you so much.
      Also, no, I am not a slut. Loooove you :3

Love, 

Your daughter

Day 2- Your Crush

Dear you,
     I think you're cute. I also think you're a moron, but that's okay, most people are. You're really opposite from me, and I like that cause you know, opposites attract. I guess that's really all I have to say about you except that you've made my day a few times already :3

Love, 

Your Secret Admirer X3

Day 1- Your Best Friend

I don't have a best friend, I have these :3

Dear Susie,
   Once upon a time on September 20th, 2003 at noon, we met in the cafeteria as dorky third graders with weird teeth and interesting voices, and we became total best friends.
    I love you so much, and I love how our friendship can survive anything, even an entire year of not talking to each other and how after that horrible year we were able to pick up right where we left off and I was your number one on Myspace once again and it was just like nothing ever happened.
     I love how you're so you and unlike any other person that has ever come into my life and how you're so indescribable in personality. I love how nothing ever brings you down and how you love to live your life to the fullest and find the best in almost everything. You know that saying, life is like a box of chocolates? Well, you're my box of chocolates cause I never know what I'm going to get with you, but no matter what I know it's always good. And I love that.

Mucho Amor, 

Ellie

Dear Maylan, 

      You're my conscious. Over the years I've known you you've totally kept me from doing most of the crazy things I would have done otherwise. There are so many little things about you that I appreciate so much. Like how you know absolutely anything and how our conversations are so weird and you understand every single oddity to come out of my mouth. 

      It's amazing that we have so many things in common but at the same we're so different and how you never, ever, ever get old. You're so creative. One of the things I love the most about you is how when I'm with you we make the most out of nothing like the time we were Mexican super heroes, or when we made Cobra Starship puppets out of paper towels and nail polish because it was four in the morning and we were bored. And how you totally hated me when I made a balloon of you know who and taped it to your bed.

     Oh, and I love how whenever someone asks if we're related we say we're cousins and then totally lol as they believe us. Without you my life would be totally different, in like the worst way. I'm so glad I met you.

Love,

Your Kidney :3

Dear Kiara,

      You are so unbelievably awesome, and I hope you know that. I wish I would have met you like... in the fetus or something because you're just so awesome it's a shame to have known you for such little time. Even though I yell at you, I totally adore how perverted you are. It absolutely makes my day when you make people uncomfortable. 

       I feel like I've known you forever.  Though I kind of have in kid years. You're so short, it makes my day, like that time where you couldn't reach the seat in front of you. Which by the way was the same day you made me watch How to Train Your Dragon in 2D even though we totally paid for it in 3D. I will never forgive you!!!

      You draw so well and hanging out with you is like the best. Thank you so much for putting up with me and sitting out of class with me when I felt like butt. You really helped me out through some bad times, and I could never thank you enough. Also, thank you for being the best luck ever. 

Love,

Ellie

Dear Kathleen,

   Oh my fricken Jesus, you have to be the most emotionally disturbed person I have ever met in my entire life you dirty filthy bum. I fucking love you. I love telling your little sister that everything means orgy. You're always the highlight of my day. Thank you for eating my scraps every day and agreeing to stalk people with me during lunch. 

     You are a metaphorical genius. You should write some kind of sick depraved poetry for sociopaths in prison. My absolute favorite thing about you is how you never fail to viciously insult me. It builds character. I also like your large chest scrotum, they came in a close second. Your wool too. Oh, and how you always describe things in some really weird hysterical way.

     Did I mention you make my day, every day? I love you :3

Love, 

Ellie

Dear Gaby,

    We don;t really know each other that well but you deserve to be written to.

    I love you :D

Love,
 Ellie

Dear Nicole, 

     Even though we've drifted and we like never talk anymore, you're one of my favorite people currently in existence that aren't Bert McCracken related. I will forever remember our tea parties and random adventures. Hanging out with you is made seven billion times better by the fact that it's so rare, and always so much fun an really really weird. 

     Thank you for being smart enough to be in gifted in the fifth grade so we could sit together and make fun of soft haired kid and lose our marbles. You're the best ^-^

Love,

Ellie

Also, everyone I call best friend:

Mario

Shixiu

Those people who's names I don't know

That fire fighter

Deborah

My Special friend

the father of my children

Briana

Ana and other Ana

and like... Chris? 

plus roughly 80% of everybody else I know :3 

You're now chatting with a stranger

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You:Hey Bill!

Stranger:hey george

You:how's the wife?

Stranger:fine i guess

You:and the kids? How old are they now, six?

Stranger:what about yours

You:Oh, she's planning on a divorce,

Stranger:too bad

You:claims I spend too much time at work

You:yes, it's terrible

Stranger:even now , come on take a break

You:Well, I've got mouths to feed, Bill

You:Money doesn't make itself

Stranger:you have already done what cannot be undone in many years to come

You:maybe you're right Bill

You:Say, we should have dinner some time

You:I haven't seen you in ages

Stranger:at your ranch??

You:Yes, that would be nice

You:and maybe if I fix things with Agnes, you could invite your lady

Stranger:sure

You:bring the kids, it'll be a jolly great time

Stranger:whens the date

You:say... January 15?

Stranger:oh i have a meeting that date

You:oh darn, well we'll see what happens, chap

You:well now I'm off to read bedtime stories,

You:Lovely talking to you Bill.

Stranger:sure mate

You have disconnected.

do you dare guess?

Who's that Pokemon?

I Saved A Kitty!

A friend and I were wandering the streets at night cause we're totally cool like that, and as we were passing an elementary school we found this super adorable kitty! And it followed us for the next ten minutes. But then, the kitty lost all sense and made an epic descent into oncoming traffic! (Cue the epic music to emphasize how horrible that moment was.)

But never fear cute little rabies infested street cat! Ellie and Ana were there to save it from impending doom. I chased it into a bush, and then Ana risked dying of cat rabies by putting it safely on the sidewalk. We truly are good people :D

Dear Maylan,

I received your complaint early this morning (roughly 3 am, don't judge me for not remembering) and I'm sorry for not writing my blog anymore... the blog that only you and Gina read but it was funnier when Gina read it cause she's white :3

So, I'm going to write more words. Just for you, cause I love you. Also I have nothing better to do... but mostly cause I love you. And, if it makes you feel better,

Prque Armando? Poque???